Who's Killing the Kids?

TongueSpeakingFool's tv-spoof of Who's Killing the Muppets? is a parody of The Muppet Show from Robot Chicken.

Cast

 * The Great Gonzo - Emmet Brickowski (The LEGO Movie)
 * Hooded Killer - Hunter (Storks)
 * Kermit the Frog/Baby Kermit - Reggie (Free Birds)
 * Miss Piggy/Baby Miss Piggy - Jenny (Free Birds)
 * Fozzie Bear/Baby Fozzie - Thomas the Tank Engine (Thomas & Friends)
 * Scooter/Baby Scooter - SpongeBob SquarePants
 * Statler - Donald (Thomas & Friends)
 * Waldorf - Douglas (Thomas & Friends)
 * Baby Skeeter - Lola Loud (The Loud House)
 * Skeeter - Sandy Cheeks (SpongeBob SquarePants)
 * Camilla - Wyldstyle/Lucy (The LEGO Movie)
 * Steve Martin - Sir Topham Hatt (Thomas & Friends)

Transcript
Emmet Brickowski's Funeral and Burial Ceremony
 * Emmet Brickowski (The LEGO Movie): For my next feat, I will walk across hot coals while explaining what the hell I am.
 * Hunter (Storks): No! For your next feat, you die! (Hunter fires a cannon, decapitating Emmet Brickowski, and Emmet Brickowski's corpse falls on the hot coals. Then Shaw places a water sack on the scene)

Later
 * Reggie (Free Birds): Emmet Brickowski died as he lived, and our family will never be whole again. And now, ladies and gentlemen, THE FAT CONTROLLER, YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!!
 * Sir Topham Hatt: (With a prank arrow hat on his head) "The Lord is my Shepard, I shall not want. He makes me like.."
 * Jenny (Free Birds) (interrupting): Oh, are we burying him in the city? (Miss Prissy jumps on Yuckie Duck's casket as it gets lowered into the ground)
 * Thomas the Tank Engine (Thomas & Friends: The Great Race): You know, the last time a kids died was...
 * Sir Topham Hatt (interrupting): Excuse me?
 * Thomas the Tank Engine: Don’t you mean, "Excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me"?
 * Sir Topham Hatt: No, this is a funeral. I’m working. Do I come to where you work and knock the (d*ck) outta your mouth?!
 * Reggie (Free Birds): Wow, Topham’s working blue, but he’s right. We vowed never to talk about...that night. (the gang turn to look at Spongebob) (SpongeBob waves at them)

Baby Kids Flashback
 * Thomas the Tank Engine: And then the dad says, "The Aristocrats"! Wocka-wocka!
 * Hunter (Storks): (Right up at the door) Hey, Thomas? Why did the train turn blue?
 * Thomas the Tank Engine: I don’t know, stranger.
 * Hunter (Storks): Because he was em-BER-rassed!
 * Thomas the Tank Engine: (Sarcastically claps) Wocka-wocka...
 * Hunter (Storks): Then how about this? Because I (f*cking) STAB YOU! (Hunter stabs Thomas in the neck and then the back with a knife)
 * Thomas the Tank Engine: What a showstopper. Ooohh! (Falls on stage)
 * Donald (Thomas & Friends): See? I told you the Thomas was gonna die on stage tonight. (Sparky and Robot X-5 laugh)
 * Thomas the Tank Engine (Thomas & Friends: The Great Discovery): Hey, guys, can you stop laughing and call me an ambulance?
 * Douglas (Thomas & Friends): You're an ambulance. (Donald and Douglas laugh again, and Thomas is dragged offscreen by Hunter and murdered. Then a red wagon is rolled out on stage)
 * Reggie (Free Birds): (Calculator and Hearing Aid roll TV's dead body away) First Emmet, now Thomas. Could we be paying the price for what we did to...?
 * Jenny (Free Birds): Don’t say that name, Reggie.
 * Reggie (Free Birds): OOOH, Nellie’s telling me what to do. Wow, hey, everybody! Come here! You gotta come see this. Jenny's telling me what to do! Wow, must be a day that ends in Y! (SpongeBob walks by carrying a boxful of props) Hey, uh, SpongeBob?
 * SpongeBob SquarePants (The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie): Oh! Hey there, boss.
 * Reggie (Free Birds): We need to talk about Sandy Cheek’s death.
 * SpongeBob SquarePants (The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water): Why, sure. I love talking about my twin sister, if not for that tragic accident...
 * Reggie (Free Birds): You know, I’m gonna stop you right there. I got something I gotta tell you.

(Present)
 * Baby Reggie: Let’s play The Little Mermaid!
 * Baby Thomas: Let’s question Reggie's sexuality. Wocka-wocka!
 * Baby SpongeBob: Hold on! Let me grab my floaties. (Leaves)
 * Lola Loud: What a nerd.
 * Baby Jenny: Ahem. Moi will play "La Petite Mermaid".
 * Lola Loud: Mermaids aren't fat! (Pushes Baby Jenny)
 * Baby Reggie: Yikes! Lola, if you only take my advice once in your natural life, take it now. Walk away. (Lola smacks Reggie)
 * Baby Thomas the Tank Engine: LOLA LOUD'S HITTING US AGAIN!
 * Baby Reggie: Yeah, who's the homo now? (Lola Loud beats up Thomas the Tank Engine, and Lola Loud gets hit in the back by Reggie with a red wagon and knocked headfirst into the pool) If we do this thing, it’s our secret forever. (All Kids Babies agree and drown Lola Loud in the pool)
 * All Children Babies: DARMA!


 * SpongeBob: You killed my sister?!?
 * Reggie: Yeah, well, It was 60% self-defense. But we're kind of burying the lead here. We think Joe Agate’s come back to avenge Lola Loud!
 * SpongeBob SquarePants (Home Sweet Pineapple): Oh, Joe Agate will have his revenge… (Joe Agate reveals himself to be Joe Agate, the Killer, in disguise)
 * Reggie and Jenny: AAAAHHH!!!
 * Joe Agate: (Takes out knife, and attacks Reggie) Fifteen seconds till your death!
 * Jenny (Free Birds): HIIII-YAH! (Jumps to kick him, but misses) Wuh!
 * Joe Agate: Here it comes! Showtime! (Wyldstyle/Lucy (The LEGO Movie) talks, holding a bow and arrow. Subtitle: "Get away from her, you b*stard!")
 * Joe Agate: You can’t shoot me! Appliances don’t even have fingers! (Wyldstyle/Lucy fires an arrow, which runs through Joe Agate's head) OOHH!! (Falls to the floor with Betty's Dad behind him)
 * The Fat Controller (Thomas & Friends: Calling all Engines!) (chuckling): That bit never gets old. (Dances as funny music starts)