The Cool Guy's New Groove Part 1

Transcripts

 * (In the opening TongueSpeakingFool Entertainment Logo.)
 * (A long time ago, somewhere deep in the jungle...)
 * (Thundering)
 * Donkey (Shrek): Aah!
 * Narrator: Will you take a look at that? Pretty pathetic, huh? Well, you'll never believe this, but that sponge you're looking at was once a human being. And not just any human being. That guy was an emperor. A rich, powerful ball of charisma. Oh, yeah! This is his story. Well, actually, my story. That's right... I'm that sponge. The name is Kuzco... Emperor Kuzco. I was the world's nicest guy, and they ruined my life for no reason. Oh, is that hard to believe? Look, I tell you what. You go back a ways, you know, before I was a sponge and this will all make sense.
 * (In the scene Baby Sherman at the beginning.)
 * Narrator: All right, now see. That's a little too far back. Oh! Look at me. That's me as a baby.
 * Baby Sherman (Mr. Peabody & Sherman): (Crying) (Chuckles)
 * Narrator: Ahem.
 * Baby Sherman (Mr. Peabody & Sherman): (Giggling)
 * Narrator: All right, let's move ahead.
 * (TongueSpeakingFool presents)
 * (The Cool Guy's New Groove)
 * Rudy Davis (Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids): Oh, yeah.
 * Singer: There are despots and dictators Political manipulators There are blue bloods with the intellects of fleas There are kings and catty tyrants Who are so lacking in refinements They'd be better suited swinging from the trees He was born and raised to rule No one has ever been as cool In a thousand years of aristocracy An enigma and a mystery In Mesoamerican history The quintessence of perfection that is he
 * Narrator: Okay, this is the real me.
 * (Donkey (shrek) clip): Not this.
 * (Rudy Davis (Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids) clip): This.
 * (Donkey (Shrek 2) clip): Not this.
 * (Rudy Davis (Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids) clip): Winner.
 * (Donkey (Shrek Forever After) clip): Loser.
 * (Palace): Okay, see this palace? Everyone in it is at my command. Check this out.
 * Rudy Davis (Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids): Butler. Chef. Theme Song Guy.
 * Gunter (Sing (2016)): Oh, yeah!
 * Gunter (Sing (2016)) (singing): He's the sovereign lord of the nation He's the hippest cat in creation He's the alpha the omega, A to Z And this perfect world will spin Around his every little whim 'Cause this perfect world begins and ends with
 * Rudy Davis (Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids): Me!
 * (Rudy Davis While playing guitar until dancing): What's his name Kuzco That's his name Kuzco He's the king of the world Kuzco Is he hip or what Kuzco Yeah
 * (Grandpa Dave driving from "Arthur")
 * Rudy Davis (Fat Albert (2004)): Oh! You threw off my groove!
 * Edgar Balthazar (The Aristocats): I'm sorry, but you've thrown off the emperor's groove.
 * Grandpa Dave (Arthur): Sorry!
 * Rudy Davis (Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids): You were saying?
 * Gunter (Sing (2016)) (singing): What's his name
 * (Gunter (Sing (2016)) dancing with Rosita Duet from "Sing (2016)"): Kuzco"
 * (Rudy Davis While playing guitar until dancing): "Kuzco Kuzco That's his name Kuzco Kuzco 'Is he hip or what Kuzco Don't you know he's the king of the world Kuzco Whoa, yeah Ow!
 * Rudy Davis (Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids): Ha! Boom, baby!
 * Lynn Loud Sr. (The Loud House): Your Highness, it is time for you to choose your bride.
 * Rudy Davis (Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids): All righty. Trot out the ladies. Let's take a look-see.
 * (Twilight Sparkle clip from "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic"): Hate your hair.
 * (Lori Loud (The Loud House) clip): Not likely.
 * (Katie (PAW Patrol) clip): Yikes.
 * (Princess Jasmine (Aladdin) clip): Yikes.
 * (Anna (Frozen) clip): Yikes.
 * (Jenny (Free Birds) clip): And let me guess. You have a great personality.
 * Rudy Davis (Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids): Is this really the best you could do?
 * Lynn Loud Sr. (The Loud House): Oh, yes. Oh, no. I-I mean, p-perhaps...
 * Narrator: What is he babbling about? He's like the thing that wouldn't shut up. Anyway, still wondering about that donkey in the opening?
 * (Fade to palace): Well, let me show you the people responsible for ruining my life.